- "You are so close to getting a knee in the balls." -- Lacy, to Hank.
- "Jackass." -- Oscar
Oscar: "Your son is turning the gas station into a movie theater"
Brent: "Bear in mind that Dad has a tendency to overstate things"
Oscar: "I have never overstated a single thing in the history of the planet"
Lacey: "I mean come on, a boycott. Look it, I'm not clubbing baby seals and I'm not using Honduran children to make sneakers."
Hank: "You could be clubbing baby seals with Hondurian children and I don't care about that."
Hank: "Freaky abstract art on the walls, and she puts weird cloths on the table"
Brent: "You mean tablecloths"
Hank: "It's too much. She's turned the coffee house into a gay bar."
Paul the bartender: "Hi Lacey, what can I getcha?"
Lacey: "I feel like a glass of wine. What's you house red?"
Paul the bartender: "Not sure ... hey, what's it say on that bag of wine over there? No, that's ketchup, the one beside it."
Lacey: "You know what? Beer's good."
