• "When life give you lemons, you take those lemons and make SUPER lemons." - Dr. Cinamon J. Scudworth

• "Stamos!" - Dr. Cinamon J. Scudworth

• "Son, if we don't enforce the drinking age, the excitement of sneaking around to get wasted might disappear forever! Do you want that on your shoulders, pal?" - Sheriff

• "Girls, girls, please! You know how I feel about conflict. I'm against it! Now, I love you both. One in a completely platonic way, the other with a fiery passion that most people know but once in a lifetime. By the way, that one's not you, Joan; it's Cleo." - Abe Lincoln

• "Do you mind?! Some of us are nailing Catherine the Great here! Or should I say, 'Catherine the So-So!'" - JFK

• "Well congratulations Abe. The people were clamouring to make asses of themselves and you gave them the means to do it." - Joan of Arc