Attributed
- "An abstainer is the sort of man you wouldn't want to drink with even if he did."
- "I drink to make other people interesting."
- "One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I'm having a good time." ~ Nancy Astor
- "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handey an (SNL character)
- "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~ Frank Sinatra
- "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
- "24 hours is a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright
- "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" --Brian O'Rourke
- "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
- "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." ~ Ernest Hemingway
- "Work is the curse of the drinking classes." ~ Oscar Wilde
- "Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune." ~ Thomas Fuller
- "The only alcohol problem I have is not having any."
- "[ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ] says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
