Little is known about the glorious man known only to mortals as Kantar. He was last spotted on Huntington Avenue, Boston, MA, at approximately 11:20 p.m. on April 7, 2005. His real name, age, and place of residence are unknown to all, aspects that only add to Kantar's mystique.

The following are known facts about Kantar:

• He drives a BMW M3 convertible, black in color. He will pass you, weave mercilessly through traffic, jump buses, etc. at his discretion. You will know it is him because of his self-describing vanity plate.

• His official theme song is "Showdown" by ELO.

• He has a tattoo across his back that reads "Easter Sunday." He is not a Christian.

• Referring to the philosopher Kant will greatly irritate Kantar. Kantar does not like philosophy.

• Kantar once tied together 30,000 live snakes to create a rope bridge across the Grand Canyon; he then drove across in his M3 convertible. The bridge remains there to this day, although the snakes are now dead.

• He sued the creators of the televsion show Knight Rider over likeness rights. They settled out of court.

All other details regarding Kantar remain a mystery to man. However, 2005 has brought a 28% increase in Kantar sightings (over 2004 figures), meaning that the AKRS (American Kantar Research Society) has been gathering information on Kantar at a staggering rate.